Neurosis

In my recent years, it has become clear to me that my favorite band is Neurosis. Though many other bands will often capture my spirit for a time, Neurosis has become a group I feel I am almost soulbound to. There is a connection I have with their music, and their being, that I cannot resist or deny.

I remember when I first listened to Neurosis, about two or three years ago. I was horrified, in the most exciting and enjoyable way a person could feel. I remember saying to my friend, with the utmost admiration and praise, "They are the most unpleasant sounding band I've ever heard!"

With my musical taste and background at the time, I was certainly more receiving of the somber and melodic albums of recent years, than the more raw, harsh, and violent nature of the earlier ones. But as I explored, and grew throughout the years, I slowly began to understand the music if their younger years. In my time listening to Neurosis, I came to find that the same spirit has always existed in their music, since the very beginning.

I will be the first to admit that I exhibit many "fan boy"-esque qualities on the subject of Neurosis. Were I ever to meet any of them, I would certainly be nervously excited. But it is not without good reason. Neurosis is a group that has approached creating music and existing as a band in much the same way that I have attempted to in my years. They have made a continuous effort to remain independent from genres, industry, cliche, premeditated musical design, and all other things in music and art that become otherwise dry and soulless. They've kept a constant emphasis on emotion, DIY, originality, soul, and creativity, for their entire career. And I am sure they have sacrificed more for it than most would for anything. Their discography is like a timeline, with each album symbolizing an era, a plane of existance which they once stood, for that very moment. Their visiual artwork is their own, their record label is their own, their roadies and soundpeople, merch people, their families... all Neurosis; one big family creating it all.

Neurosis is a band that I cannot help but have the highest respect for, almost solely on the fact that it is entirely genuine and personal to them. Now I can certainly comment on aspects of their being that I do not enjoy. The exhaustingly repetative nature of many of their riffs, the fizzy tones of the early albums, Dave Edwardsons' strangely deep and almost goofy sounding yell/growls, many of the disappointingly awkward progressions on the later albums, and the sort of busy and messy metal-esque artwork of some of the older albums are examples of these. But these are not elements brought into their world ingenuinely. Even if they released something seemingly ridiculous and nonesensical, I would never thing that it was something that didn't come from a very real and honest place within them.

Neurosis has a quality about their music that speaks to me deeply. It is as if listening to them summons a piece of me that is often otherwise lost, or caged. When I saw them live, the entire set had me in a sort of a trance. Listening to them is such a personal experience to me that I almost prefer to listen to them alone. While there is quite a large cult following of Neurosis, I do not see myself as part of that. I found their music and listened to them on my own, with only the help of references in various web documents guiding me to them. I have few friends who enjoy their music as much as I do, and many of the ones that do found their music later on. When I trudged through a dark era of my life, Neurosis was the anthem, the soundtrack that tied it all together, and motivated me to march willfully through. I have a personal relationship with their music.

Neurosis has truly been influential to me, in so many ways. Although there are so many others who feel the same, so many other fan boys and copycat bands, I can understand their efforts to pay homage to such a powerful group. And though I would suggest them to anyone who finds themselves with even similar perspectives and feelings on music and art as myself, I would never ask or expect anyone to enjoy it like I do. For Neurosis' own intent in their quest pays no mind to the listener, to the fans, or otherwise. It is entirely to create music that is true to them, to apease the relentless calling that many musicians have. And it just so happens that their music is as mighty as the universe itself, in my eyes.

I could never hope to create music as profound as theirs. I only wish that I will feel the same level of accomplishment, the same fulfillment in releasing my own soul through the medium of music, as they have in their years, in my time to come.